Well, well, well! Not quite the cannons against water pistols spectacle most fans were expecting was it? I’m talking about the Springboks’ clash against the Italians last Saturday.
It was SA’s opening match of the international rugby season and it was widely expected that the Boks would blow the Azzurris out of the water so to speak. And taking a commanding 25-point lead into the half-time break, it seemed the visitors were in for a wrecking-ball second half especially as the formidable “bomb squad” was yet to make an appearance.
But back came the exuberant visitors in the second half to turn the game on its head and outscore the world champions by seven points in this period to eventually lose by a lot less than expected.
Italy’s spirited fight-back reminded me of a World Cup match between Italy and Argentina, both minnows of world rugby at the time. It was staged right here at the Border Rugby Union ground in East London 30 years ago, when SA hosted the competition.
Italy seemed to have the match cut and dried when they led 24-12. But back came the Pumas to score a penalty and two tries that edged them ahead at 25-24. However, it was Italy’s day when a young flyhalf called Diego Dominguez got in for a try which clinched a dramatic win for the Italians.
What intrigued me about that match was the unashamed display of joy and happiness exhibited by the Italians after the final whistle. They kissed and hugged one another with uninhibited emotion in their moment of victory and this is what brings me to the subject of today’s article.
Why is it so difficult for us to tell a person how good he or she is? By the same token why is it so difficult for us to receive a compliment gracefully?
To pay someone a compliment has nothing to do with the words one uses. It has to come from the heart. A pat on the shoulder, an embrace or a word of appreciation for a job well done will last as long as the memory of the person receiving it lasts.
It is so difficult to receive a compliment because we distrust the motives of the person complimenting us. It’s called the theory of the “second agenda”.
I do not trust you when you pay me a compliment because you want something from me.
But here is another side of the coin. I feel uneasy to accept a compliment from you because I feel ill at ease with myself; I think I am not worth it.
Why make life so complicated? If someone tells you how much he or she enjoyed your work, your presence or how you played the game, why not say “thank you”?
Give him or her a warm embrace (and don’t tell me men don’t embrace, look at that Italian rugby team) and bask in the sunshine of their admiration knowing you can be the beautiful person you want to be.
So to all you people receiving long service awards, going on pension soon or even winning a World Cup rugby match, know that you are appreciated because the Lord created you and bestowed upon you a special talent.
