Marriage is a balancing act

Charles Beningfield

One for the women this morning. Given the choice, would you remarry your husband?

That was the question asked in a survey done in Italy recently. And 43% of the wives said no.

In a way, it’s a loaded question.

We are told that one marriage in three ends in divorce and that most of these parties marry again.

So it might be better to ask: Given the choice, which of your husbands would you choose?

Or even: Would you prefer the husband of one of your friends?

But men, take my advice and don’t ask your missus any of those questions. You might get the shock of your life.

What you could do though in the interests of harmony in the home, is follow an idea I spotted in a women’s magazine.

The writers asked a group of couples to compile ten commandments for each other to keep a marriage reasonably happy.

The shalts and shalt nots were surprisingly similar.

Here’s a typical one:

SHE said: Thou shalt not:

1. Have a his and hers attitude to money and wait for me to ask for some.

2. Sit on your backside reading the paper while I’m cooking dinner.

3. Say you’ll be home at five then rock up at seven insisting you’re sober.

4. Forget things I tell you then deny all knowledge of the conversation.

5. Throw your dirty clothes next to the wash basket instead of in it.

Thou shalt:

6. Listen to my stories if they are important or fun, which they are to me.

7. Buy me flowers and things and take me out to dinner and the movies and not only on special occasions.

8. Take me along to rugby with you and make me feel more welcome than your drinking mates.

9. Tell me you love me every day.

10. Get jealous every now and then to make me feel wanted.

HE said: Thou shalt not:

1. Nag me. Especially not in front of my friends.

2. Tell me you know what is best for me.

3. Complain about how important my job is to me.

4. Insist I come to the table when I’d rather eat watching TV.

5. Tell me I never listen to you.

Thou shalt:

6. Tell me you love me every day.

7. Be my best friend and laugh with me.

8. Try to share my interests and have fun with me.

9. Let me have a night out with my mates.

10. Dress up just for me.

Tailpiece

From the British Medical Journal: A woman phones the classified advertisement department of a local newspaper in Scotland.

“I want to place a death notice. How much is it a word?”

Two pounds.”

“Fine. Here is my advert: ‘McKay’s dead’.”

“Sorry madam, a death notice has to be a minimum of five words.”

Long pause.

“Very well then, make it: ‘McKay’s dead. Volvo for sale’.”

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